It started out as a relatively harmless thing, I thought. I was at a party with some friends who were smoking crystal meth. I thought I would try it. And that night, we all had a pretty good time. But the next day, I couldn’t stop thinking about how great it made me feel. I called my friend who got us all to try it, and he hooked me up with his guy. Before I knew it, I was using it every single morning.
I told myself I needed it to wake up to do everything I needed to do. I told myself it was giving me more energy and motivation. But I actually stopped sleeping. I would do it in the morning, and then I would do it again in the evening when I got home from class. I would stay up all night. Because I was doing productive things like cleaning, I justified it to myself.
After about two weeks of this, I was a hot mess. I was completely paranoid about everything. My roommate was getting worried about me, and she sat down to talk to me. I was convinced that she called the cops on me so I yelled at her and ran out of my house and down the street. I hadn’t slept in five days and I had run out of meth so I finally passed out. When I woke up, I was in someone’s back yard. It was at that point that I realized it had gotten out of control.
I started attending twelve-step meetings and reading about recovery. I hung out with a good friend of mine who had recovered from a pretty bad cocaine habit, and he really helped me. I managed to get my life back together.
Now I look back, and I wish I could go back to that first party and stop myself from ever even trying it. If you have the opportunity to try a drug like meth at a party and it seems fun, I encourage you to stop and really think about what you’re doing. Is the fun really worth the potential damage you could do to your life and your relationships? I don’t think so. No “fun time” is worth that much.